The Moon

Good Monday morning! I am beside myself today. Last night, for the FIRST time in 20 months, I looked at the moon without being sad. THE FIRST TIME IN ALMOST 2 YEARS!

I cannot describe how significant this is. You see, for the last 20 months, I avoided looking at the moon. I did so for full moons, crescent moons, harvest moons, even Super Moons. I couldn't bear to look.

When I lived out at Pigeon Lake, we 'loved' the moon, especially the way it reflected on the lake both in summer and winter. We loved evening hot tubs where the moon shone over us, and it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

When my marriage ended March 28th, 2014 the moon became just another horrible reminder of what had happened. Especially when it was full, I'd imagine my ex and the woman he left me for enjoying it just the way 'we' did when we were a couple.

That changed last night!!!!! I was sitting in my favourite chair, where I overlook the North Saskatchewan River and Edmonton's spectacular River Valley when I noticed the moon. It was brilliant. It shone through my windows and illuminated my front room. It was beautiful. I admired it for a good long while before I realized what I was doing! I was not sad; I was enjoying the moon! This was huge. It was yet another measure of my recovery.

I believe that what most people can't understand is how 'everything' hurts, when you're grieving a loss----whatever the loss. I personally find it unfathomable that even the moon caused me pain! The moon!!!!!!

If you are grieving, please know I understand how much pain even the simplest of reminders can cause.

I'm not in pain today. In fact, I made a 'giant leap' last night. I understand were expecting snow this evening, so I might not be able to see the moon tonight. What a shame. It's.......magnificent.