It's all part of the process

'I HATE GRIEVING. I HATE GRIEVING. I HATE GRIEVING.'

There. Just had to get that off my chest. Good Tuesday morning! Thank you for all of your kind messages yesterday. I only have a little head cold, so I'll be tickety-boo in no time!

A far bigger pain in the butt yesterday was my episode of grief. Don't recall the last time I had one. It was over a 'reminder' I saw about a really wonderful time in my marriage. My heart sank, and I....cried.

PLEASE DON'T FELL SORRY FOR ME! Even I don't!

It was simply an 'episode' of grief. ANYONE who has lost someone or something KNOWS exactly what I'm talking about. Once I journaled about my grief, and let myself weep, I was just fine.

I wasn't weeping for my ex. What I was missing was that 'really special feeling' I had when I was married. I LOVED being a wife. I LOVED doting on my husband. I LOVED being part of a couple. I LOVED sharing my life with another person. I LOVED going to bed and waking up with my partner next to me.

That is what I was grieving yesterday. I miss those things. The difference between today and yesterday is that on Monday, I needed to cry about it. Today? Well, today I just recognize that this is where I am in my life right now.

As luck would have it, it's Therapy Tuesday! I have only one question for my therapist today. 'How do I make the most of my current life, WITHOUT having what was always the most important thing to me?'

You see, my marriage was unequivocally the most important thing in my life. Obviously I know I am fine on my own. In fact, I'm probably more independent than most. I am not however going to tell you that being single was my 'forever dream, my life's plan'.

If you choose to comment today, PLEASE don't tell me about the merits of being single. I already know what those are. I also know there are some married people who would give their eye teeth to be in my position!

When I share my vulnerabilities with you, I do it so that other's in my position know they're not alone. Loneliness is one of the the difficult feelings to cope with. It helps me to know 'I'm not alone.' I hope it helps someone else today.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Even with my head cold, I managed to bake 8 loaves of fruitcake yesterday. My entire home smells like......Christmas! Happy Tuesday everyone!